![]() Stay in your marriage while continuing a relationship with your lover,ģ. You have four potential paths before you:ġ. If so, that degree of negativity toward your spouse probably increased its intensity after your affair began.) What Happens Next? (There may be an exception to that if you feel that your spouse has been unkind or hurtful. You don’t mean to harm family, friends, coworkers, church buddies, or anyone else. Most likely, your desire is not to hurt the person you’re married to but rather, to live in this new level of love that you never knew existed. “I can’t explain how this feels because I don’t think anyone else can understand it.“This is the person I am meant to be with.”.“No one understands me as well as he/she does.”.Maybe you describe this new relationship similar to the way others I’ve worked with: If you suspect your spouse of having an affair, take the Affair Test after reading this article to get a good idea if your fears are justified. However, it captured their heart when it came, and they fell in love with someone else. That doesn’t mean that the person necessarily looked for affirmation and validation from someone else. Relationship affairs – as opposed to the one-night-stand type of affairs that are wholly about sex and not at all about the relationship – usually find root in a person’s feeling unloved, unaccepted, disliked, or disrespected. My work with thousands of married couples in crisis indicates that this is precisely the case. In his book The Marriage Clinic, highly revered marriage researcher John Gottman writes: “Many clinicians have been quick to point out that ‘affairs involve sex, but sex is usually not the purpose of the affair.’ Most clinicians who have written in this area report that affairs are usually about seeking friendship, support, understanding, and validation they are about getting the acceptance that is missing in the marriage.” However, underlying vulnerabilities very likely made the new relationship possible. Others blame it on their spouse’s actions or lack of actions. Some feel that God sent them their soul mate. Others have more difficulty their minds are confused because what they are doing is contrary to what they believe and value. Some are honest enough with themselves that they know step-by-step how everything came to be as it is now. ![]() It may be challenging to know exactly how you got into this situation. But perhaps you’ve gone further, and the relationship has turned physical. You’re already in what some refer to as an emotional affair. However, things got rather intense once you fell in love with someone other than your spouse. It’s not as if you went looking for a lover. You probably never meant for it to happen.
0 Comments
Leave a Reply. |
Details
AuthorWrite something about yourself. No need to be fancy, just an overview. ArchivesCategories |